Piccolo and Kakashi on Theories: Christmas Special 2015
by UltraQuest
Summary: During the day before Christmas (otherwise known as Christmas Eve), Piccolo and Kakashi task themselves with solving their show's producer's disliking towards the festive season. Truly, you cannot get more gripping than this.


_Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball Z, or Naruto. They are owned by Akira Toriyama and Masashi Kishimoto respectively. I do not claim to own anything in this story._

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On the 24th of December, things changed for the Namekian and ninja television show presenters. Snow fell down from the grey sky, blanketing the snow in its radiant white glory. Both hosts found it somewhat more challenging to arrive to the warehouse in which they usually present their show, though the Namekian did not seem to have as much trouble due to prior experience in cold environments.

Piccolo, the Namekian, was the first one to arrive - as per usual. He opened the facial recognition-equipped doors and entered the hollow warehouse, where the camera crew's equipment were already set up, like they usually were.

It seems that not even on this festive day, do things change. Piccolo approached the producer of the show - a man of brown, slightly spiky hair that pointed downwards and dark blue eyes - to discuss the day's filming.

"You and Kakashi are gonna talk about..." the producer spoke, answering Piccolo's question to remind him of the topic. He flipped the pages of a notepad he was holding, only stopping until he found the right page. "...'Why do adult men like My Little Pony?'. I'm sorry for any potential hate mail you guys'll get."

Piccolo grinned, appreciating the joke. "Thank you, though Kakashi and I can easily take care of a few man-children," he added, increasing the pitch of his voice slightly as to signify a joke.

"Haha..." the producer laughed. "Did you read over your notes?"

"I did - I can only hope Kakashi did as well," Piccolo replied. Just then, the very same Konoha Jonin entered through the door. "What timing."

"Hi," Kakashi greeted, raising his hand as he spoke. "Have I missed anything?"

"Not really. I was just going over with Piccolo today's topic of discussion," the producer responded happily. "You two ready for filming?"

"Of course I am. Ninjas are always prepared," Kakashi answered, nodding.

"I've told you already," reminded Piccolo.

The producer nodded, noting down the pair's answers mentally. He then turned to face the camera crew, whom appeared to be on a couch in the corner of the warehouse, watching something on a television. One of the crew - a dark-skinned man that is only several years younger than the producer - approached his boss with concern spread all over his face.

"Come on sir, it's Christmas Eve..." the man pleaded, employing all scientifically proven methods of persuasion. "Can't we have a day off?"

"No," the producer shook his head. "We can't take time off work for some ridiculous holiday. I'm already letting you all off tomorrow, can't you at least grant me today? It won't take long to film."

The random man seemed somewhat pleased. "Fine, we'll work today..."

With that, the producer organised the start of the episode. Cameras pointing in the right direction, chairs placed in the correct position and presenters in their respective usual starting points. After a grand total of half an hour, filming ended though contradicting with normal procedures, Piccolo and Kakashi lingered to hear in on an argument.

"Hey!" a woman raised her voice as she approached the producer. She had black hair and white skin, with a red shirt and regular coloured jeans. "What's your problem, boss? Why don't you celebrate Christmas?"

"...I thought it wouldn't come to this. Please, don't take this the wrong way or anything, but I find the concept of Christmas to be ridiculous," the producer answered, sighing. He appreciated the kind-hearted girl before him, but loathed talks of this caliber in general.

"Christmas? Ridiculous? Did you just connect those words in the same sentence?" the woman questioned in disbelief. "In the same context and all!"

"Look, I'm going to explain it clearly...Christmas is merely a ploy for the government to control your spending for an entire season. It's caught pretty much everyone in developed countries," the producer explained. "A very long time ago, I used to be a part of that coverup. Now, I see the truth - Christmas is just a waste of time."

"How can you say that?! It's not about spending or the government, it's about friends, family and people spending time together!" the woman refuted.

The producer began to stare at the woman with a blank face, showing no emotion. However, his eyes showed otherwise. "Can't we do that any old day? Do you people accept this annual tradition merely because it allows you to be a jerk any other day? People need to learn to be more open, generally."

Piccolo's face lit up, as the spark of an idea flickered in his mind. He actived his flight capabilities and grabbed Kakashi, flying him over to the other side of the warehouse, to speak in private. "The boss has become de-sensitized towards Christmas," the Namekian relayed.

"I see that, but why are we speaking right now? Shouldn't we be leaving?" Kakashi asked. Sounds of bickering echoed in the background.

"Do you really want to work with a guy like that?" Piccolo questioned, ignoring the formality of actually answering questions. He pointed over to the producer with his thumb as he spoke.

"I see your point," Kakashi admitted. "But what are you going to do about it?"

Piccolo paused for some seconds. "I'm going to call in someone."

"Santa Claus?" asked the only ninja in the warehouse.

"No. Someone that our producer is familiar with," Piccolo vaguely responded. He pulled out a mobile phone from absolutely nowhere, dialled a specific number and began conversing with someone over the line. "Hi, it's me...he's in need of help...come over as soon as you can...thanks. Goodbye." Pressing the 'end call' button on the touch screen device, the two television show presenters began to listen in on the Christmas-related argument.

Approximately an hour after the phone call was made, a woman with blonde hair, a dark blue shirt and jeans entered the whitehouse and approached the producer. Piccolo was grinning at the sight of this, while the woman appeared to return the Namekian's grin with her own before she reached the man.

"Is she your plan?" Kakashi questioned, pointing to the strange girl.

"Yes," Piccolo simply nodded. "She's the producer's wife - I've talked to her several times before."

"You'll have to introduce us," Kakashi spoke with a light tone, half-joking and half-serious. The two became silent, as they continued to watch Piccolo's plan unfold before their very eyes.

"So, I've been hearing that you're trying to ruin other peoples' views on Christmas," the girl started, folding her arms and frowning. "We've talked about this."

"It's not my fault everyone's been asking me time and time again about getting off work today," the producer replied. "I'm merely answering queries. I'll send everyone home after we've finished editing and sorting out everything else behind the scenes. It's standard procedure."

"And you can't just take a few days off? You can do all the work later," the girl refuted.

"But I need to stick to the schedule! If I don't, viewers will stop watching and all my work will be for nothing!" the producer returned.

The girl sighed. "There is no schedule. You only force one upon yourself - that is why you feel this way. How do you know that your viewers will dislike you taking a small break? Since when have they ever complained about that? I'm sure that they won't mind; they'll be busy over the holidays themselves."

"...But, Christmas is a-"

The girl placed a finger over her husband's lips. "Shh...I've already talked to you about keeping your opinions to yourself. Only bring controversial ones up when they're needed."

"I was being asked about it!"

"And you couldn't have said anything else? There is no need to be so forceful with your opinion. People may not like it and they certainly will hate it when opinions they don't even agree with are being forced down their throat. Keep it on the down-low. Only bring it up when it's needed and even then, be mindful of how you bring it across. Things can be interpreted rather differently in the eyes of some."

"..."

"Think with the perspective of other people: most days of their year is spent expending their energy by working, doing things they don't want to do and the like. These people generally do not have the energy to be nice and care for others. Christmas allows these people to build up their positive energy for a single day, reminding their friends and family of the person they love. It stands as a testament to see if bonds are really as strong as they once were."

The producer fell totally silent. "Y-you're right," he responded, defeated. He turned to the camera crew that he is responsible for. "I'm sorry, everyone. Go home and spend the rest of the festive season with your families. We'll get this episode out later than I originally hoped. Nobody will mind, right?"

Everyone that was not either Piccolo, Kakashi, the producer or his wife, shook their heads. They then began to collect their belongings and leave the warehouse, saying goodbye and seasonal messages to the producer as they walked towards the front door, leaving the warehouse with plentiful happiness.

"Goodbye," Piccolo said to the two humans that did not have any magical power, while also making his way to the front door, with Kakashi following suit. The producer and his wife waved to the pair of warriors, watching them leave the residence of work.

 _Christmas_

However, once outside, the two were met with a large tree that had a note attached to one of the branches. Kakashi took it from where it was and began reading it out. " _Dear Piccolo and Kakashi, here's a little Christmas present. We know how hard you guys are working, so we decided to get you a tree. Hope you love it and Merry Christmas to the both of you! From, Goku and Naruto._ "

"I didn't expect them to get us anything, let alone a tree," Piccolo commented. The tree itself was fairly average for one of the festive variety.

"Same here. I guess those two really used their brains this time," Kakashi remarked, gazing upon the elegant tree. "We'll have to wish them a Merry Christmas when we see them next."

"I guess we will."

Piccolo grabbed the tree and lifted it, while also ascending. The two then ventured home, preparing themselves for a day of festivities that was laid out in front of them. A day of laughter, sharing gifts and reflecting on why their bonds with their friends are so strong in the first place.

The two presenters certainly had a great time.

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 _ **Author Notes:**_ **So this is late...about seventeen days late, that is. Eh, better late than never.**

 **I hope you all had a great time over the course of Christmas and here's to a great new year! *raises drink*.**

 **See you all next chapter!**


End file.
